Thursday, May 28, 2015

sessions, winning, & losing

So a couple days ago I had a pretty great session.  I was even thinking at the time, "This would make a great story," but the guy was pretty shy and a bit nervous as a first-time sessioner, so I stuck to just making a simple tweet about it.  Tweet:  "I'd say 99% of the session guys I meet expect to lose. But there's 1% that REALLY think they can win. Had one of them today. He didn't win. :)"

But I just got a tweet reply asking for a blog about it, and I noticed my original tweet even got discussed over on (to a bit of controversy, no less!)  So clearly I must tell the story. Let's see if I can give the good parts but spare the details for the details for the guy's sake.

So the funny thing about this match was that I almost couldn't believe it was happening.  It was SO much like certain mixed video storylines -- you know:  guy sees wrestling girl on the internet; guy thinks "I could beat her;" guy challenges girl; guy is shocked and horrified! when he loses.  I know it's a "realistic" video storyline, but it's not that really realistic because the great majority of guys I meet, no matter how hard they fight, do either want to lose or don't mind and are just impressed when I win.  So few guys really get upset about it that I was like "Wow, it's really happening!"

So this guy Tuesday was no slouch.  He was young, athletic, had wrestled in high school and trained a little BJJ too.  He was close to my size but still had 10 or 15 pounds on me.  So I was expecting this would be a great match.  And it was!  Most session guys I won't let start a match standing, but with a school wrestling background I knew he'd be safe and actually better at takedowns than I am.

So...he shot a single-leg; I partly defended with a sprawl and pulled guard.  He started out full-power, trying to throw my legs aside and dive or bull through them.  I wouldn't put my back on the ground in guard, because despite the mixed experience, we'd never never actually discussed rules, and I wasn't going to give him any excuse to claim a pin!  So I got into a deep half guard, and he tried to Darce choke me.  I had to keep my cool and work out of a lot of tight choke attempts in this match!

I got myself even deeper into half gaurd, right underneath him while stretching his legs apart, and I discovered "Aha!  He doesn't know this position!"  He didn't know what to do or how to balance from there, so I turned him and got on top.  I tried for my favorite boltcutter choke, but he was too explosive -- he twisted, powered out, and bulled right back into me.

We went back and forth, crashed around, made WAAAAAAY too much noise for my little 2nd floor apartment studio, and worked up a disgusting amount of sweat.  He kept blowing out of my sidemount and mount choke attempts, so I realized I was going to need more than my arms to hold on to him.  Finally, I got back into side mount, stepped a leg over his head, and slid on a reverse triangle.  I was afraid it wouldn't hold because of all the sweat, but I squeezed, and he tapped.

Now, here's the best part.  We'd agreed on consequences for the loser -- his idea!  Loser gets facesat.  Now, I am a big fan of my guys who enjoy being facesat.  But I am also a big fan of guys who think they're going to facesit me and end up on the bottom.  It's just precious.  Plus, I mentioned the sweat already, right?  Poor thing.

We went for two more falls.  The mats had gotten way too slick for takedowns to make any sense, so I pulled guard both times.  My deep half guard trick worked again, but this time I scooted out behind him and got on his back.  I sunk in a rear naked choke and got a second tap.  He got a second facesit.

On the last fall, I was feeling a little too cocky, and he locked a tight reverse triangle on me.  I had a moment of thinking "Oh no, not when it was going so well!  I'll have to give," but damn, right! not when it was going so well.  I managed to push his knee out and over my chin, and that was just too discouraging for him.  Having me get out when he was so sure about that hold really took the fight out of him.  I don't even know how, but somehow I just breezed up onto his back and got a second rear naked choke.  He got a third facesit!

OK, so they don't come up that often, but this is definitely not the only session I've had with a guy who was super-determined to win.  I'm going to get a bit general and a wee bit philosophical now.  One thing I think is funny is how many of the guys who do desperately want to win ask me afterwards "Do you ever lose?"  Well, I've had a few draws, but it's been years since I lost in a session.

But do I ever lose?  Of course!  I train with amazing people almost every day at my academy.  The other students (not to mention the instructors!!) are fantastic, and plently of them can beat me.  If I didn't train with such awesome people I wouldn't be as good as I am, and I wouldn't get better.

All the guys who really want to beat me have a reason they think they can -- they're bigger, they're good at some other sport, they used to wrestle.  But they also have a reason they can't -- they don't know how to wrestle, they're big but not in good shape...  So this tells me they're not really as sure  they can beat me in the first place as they say.  Meanwhile, they still ask "Do you ever lose?" when they must know that there are guys out there who are bigger AND skilled AND in good shape...

But the guys I train with who are all of those things and CAN beat me have never shown a really urgent need to prove it.  If anything, they're great and helpful training partners with something to teach me.

So I've been taking stock here, and I'm reaching the conclusion:  If you have to beat me, you probably can't.  And you might even know it.  And that might have something to do with why it's always fun to win, but it's especially fun to win over someone who's gunning for you ;) 

Monday, May 4, 2015

west coast filming tour!

My West Coast tour is starting EXTREMELY soon, this Wednesday, in fact!  Only two days to go!

This is going to be an extravaganza of filming with a lot of fantastic ladies.  These are the wrestlers and models with whom I've confirmed, or nearly confirmed, shoots so far.  (Custom commissions and video requests will help to confirm pending shoots!)

In Los Angeles, this Wednesday, May 6, Jennifer Thomas, Liz Lightspeed, Nikki Fierce, and I can all be available together or separately for videos!

Jennifer Thomas
Liz Lightspeed
Nikki Fierce

In San Diego, May 7, I'm shooting with Sinn Sage:

Sinn Sage

In Las Vegas, May 11, I'm shooting with Maria Queen:

Maria Queen

And on May 12, with Rapture and Shauna Ryanne (available together or separately):

Shauna Ryanne

 In San Francisco, May 16, I'm shooting with Andrea Rosu:

Andrea Rosu

AND back in LA, May 17, I'm shooting with Robin:


If you have custom requests or video suggestions for any of these talented, beautiful, ferocious ladies and me, get in touch ASAP!  Email:

where I've been...

Well, it's lucky no one strictly enforces New Year's resolutions, or I'd be in trouble -- I've been neglecting this blog again!  But I'm back now.  Here's a quick recap of what was going on in the quiet time, before I move on to some very exciting stuff that's coming up incredibly soon!

So my last post was in February; I was talking about the killer, 2-hour marathon match that I had with Kevin.  Looking back on February now, it's not surprising at all that I disappeared in March.  I've got to admit those months were hard (but worth it in the long run).

February was absolutely turbo-charged (and for that, I actually blame January, when the weather was so miserable that a we had to postpone a lot of shoots due to models' travel problems).

So we did everything in February!  We shot 24 videos that month, and besides the marathon with Kevin, this also included the Battle of the Sexes bondage match, an awesome but exhausting late-night, hour-long, hard competitive war.  There were some other great creations, like my Handcuffed Smother Domination with Thrash, and the excellent bondage match I got to have with Robin.  All stuff I'm proud of, but add on all my regular training and lifting AND general winter factor, and I was getting pretty tired by March.

BUT we had a big two-day long shoot scheduled with Lia Labowe before there could be a rest.  I knew it was coming to a point because I was losing my voice during the shoot with Lia -- which might have produced an interesting effect???  We did some private commission assassin videos where I had to deliver evil monologues and sounded especially husky.  Always a silver lining to be found somewhere.

Anyway, I went into "hardcore resting" mode after the shoot with Lia in order to be ready for my Northern Tour.  Thank goodness this all worked out -- the tour was lovely with some great wrestling in Montreal, Toronto, Detroit, and Chicago; I met some wonderful (and tough!) new folks, got to see some of my very favorite regular sessions guys again (I hope you guys know who you are -- you're fantastic!), and got to meet and film with Ashley Wildcat for the first time.  Rounded the trip off with a stop at my parents' for Easter -- a very nice time overall!

Now throughout April, I *thought* I'd been continuing the resting-up theme from March.  But I just counted up the videos from April, and there were actually 25 -- one more than in crazy February!  I think the difference is not having to travel through any snow to get to the studio, and also the fact that we've been working on some very fun, experimental type projects.  There was the 4-Way Superheroine Bondage Battle -- how could anyone not love that and love doing that?  I know for myself, wanting to be in superhero movies as a kid is a big part of why I'm so pleased with what I do now.  And I've yet to meet another wrestling lady that doesn't think the superheroine videos are extra fun.

There was also the Hunt for the Spider Queen video; this was something of a pet project that Diablo, Howl, and I had been dreaming up.  We knew we wanted it to be a bit more like a movie than a clip, and we wanted it to involve a lot of different bondage for Howl.  We were quite committed -- we even ran a dress rehearsal/test run of the video, which was a great benefit.  We tried the concept first as a sort of slow, seductive piece, but afterwards we realized that it would be much better as a more fighty and abusive scene.  This was a great and fun theater experiment type-project that turned out a result I just loved.  I wish we had time to workshop more pieces like this.  Well, for special occasions we just might...  And in any event, the Spider Queen will certainly be making some reappearances!

All right, that brings me up to date.  Good that I had that rest-up time because in two days I leave for my West Coast tour, which is going to be another whirlwind.  See my next post for a preview on that, and a roster of the ladies I'll be shooting with out there should you want to order a custom...